I don't like telling the truth. Lies are better, easier, simpler. So when people ask me about you, about us, i tell them that i loved you. When you send me a letter asking how i am doing, i tell myself that i loved you. When you ask me if i still love you, i tell you yes, of course i do. I always will, its just such a shame that you are there and i am here. But the truth is.. i don't love you, i never did.. never will.
The truth is you were convenient, safe.
You were good, kind.
You were sweet, loving.
You were fun, cute.
You were in love with me.
That was enough..for a while.
But i was never interested in safety.. or kindness..
I want to argue and have it be fun not dramatic,
I want opinionated, idealistic, motivated.
I want someone who was not afraid of anything. And you my dear were afraid of words, afraid of eyes, afraid of them, us, me. Why so much fear? Even now, when we are no longer together, i fear for the impact of my words on you. So i hope you don't read this, but if you do, don't ask me if all this is true. I will just have to lie to you.. again.. and tell you i love you and only you.
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